


Beneath the Stars

by minhyeokjae



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/F, Fluff, Romance, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-01
Updated: 2015-05-01
Packaged: 2018-03-26 14:49:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3854683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/minhyeokjae/pseuds/minhyeokjae
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Maybe life should be about more than just surviving. Don’t we deserve better than that?" — an AU version of Clarke and Lexa's relationship and the events in Tondc (see: minus Cage Wallace's itchy trigger finger).</p>
            </blockquote>





	Beneath the Stars

Despite being the de facto leader of the Delinquents in the time since their dropship had made landfall a little over a month ago, the new burden of leadership fell upon Clarke Griffin awkwardly, like an ill-fitted garment.

 _I shared it with Bellamy before,_ she thought. _He carried a part of it_. _But now he isn't here to do that.._

It was a convenient thought, at least, even if everyone ultimately deferred to _her_ command in the end. Bellamy included. He was older than her but no one could deny her care and wisdom stretched beyond her years. Bellamy Blake had a presence that could move a crowd to action with only a few words but he was hot-headed. A man of action. A knight who stood beside his Queen and patiently awaited her command. The Princess, after all, had grown into her crown forged and tempered in the heat of battle.

 _Princess_.

The nickname used to annoy her but now that word only resonated painfully in the hollow places inside her. Clarke hissed at the feeling of the cold water that ran over her hands, flowing from the spigot in the water basin. It sat in the shade and so the sun never had the opportunity to warm it. It was even worse at night. Or better, depending on the weather. Despite the unpleasant chill she scrubbed at them a little harder and a little longer, as if it could possibly remove the memory of how Finn's blood had felt on her skin, steaming in the air. She shuddered from something that had nothing to do with the temperature and returned her attention to examining the basin beside her. Stupid, idle thoughts to distract her. It wasn't unlike the one they had had constructed back at their original campsite though this one was made of wood and rough hewn nails, the tank made watertight by the use of some sort of putty-like material that sealed the cracks. In a perfect world, the Grounders might have come as benevolent spirits and taught her people how to survive like in the old stories she'd read once about settlers in a new land.

But there was no perfect world. Some forty days give or take had shattered every dream Clarke had ever had about the Ground. Maybe the ugliness of humanity had permanently stained everything. Her people had come down from orbit and had found more pain and death rather than salvation. Perhaps _that_ was the real radiation to fear. Things had seemed so peaceful within Mount Weather even though she knew the truth of their dark, sordid secrets. But the people themselves seemed so happy and at ease. She could bring to mind Jasper's goofy grin when he tasted chocolate cake for the first time and wished wholeheartedly that she'd been wrong about her suspicions. But the Mountain Men were contaminated too, even if most of them didn't realize it. It wasn't the kind of contamination that would make their skin erupt in angry red burns, after all.

_It's worse. It poisons your heart and your mind._

Besides, Bellamy had told her that those stories she'd read were grossly inaccurate. Even if the natives had generously welcomed the newcomers to their land the settlers would eventually turn on them. Clarke's ancestors had a history written in blood and had built their countries on the backs of the oppressed, stealing from people who had only wanted to _live_. She turned off the water and shook the excess from her aching fingers before she dried her hands on a rag.

_Remember when the only thing we worried about was how we were going to last through winter?_

Clarke shook her head, a bit of pained laughter bubbling up and escaping her before she could stop herself.

"Given the circumstances I would not have expected to hear you laughing.." The voice came from behind her and Clarke stiffened. It was female and in the last several days had come to be remarkably familiar. She folded the small rag and set it down before she turned around, rubbing her hands together in front of her as she tried to work feeling back into her fingertips.

"Commander," Clarke said, assuming the almost detached tone of voice she had a tendency to slip into when dealing with matters of business. There was, however, an edge of surprise to it as well. It was late. Most people had already turned in for the night.

Lexa's green gaze seemed softer though perhaps that was because she lacked the menacing mask of dark war paint that usually framed her eyes. Her hair was different too, lacking the intricate braiding and simply pulled back from her face and tied loosely. It was a bit like her own hairstyle, as a matter of fact. Clarke took in the full state of her, dressed more casually than she had ever seen the Commander previously. An attempt to gain her trust, perhaps? Clarke's expression tightened minutely. Even if it was a gesture it was still a politically motivated one.

"Was there something you needed?"

Lexa's full lips parted to speak but she paused and Clarke watched as a small smile formed instead. "I am not here on official business, Clarke. You can relax.."

 _Easier said than done_.

Lexa stepped closer and Clarke remained wary, watching her every move. She was graceful, her motions those of someone who was very aware of their own body. All of the Grounders had that about them in one way or another technically, a product of their years of training. It was intimidating, that physicality. Lexa took it to another level with her air of confidence.

Clarke scoffed internally. _Princess indeed_. The Commander was the real royalty.

"What you said to me before stuck in my mind, I suppose," Lexa continued.

"What I said?" Clarke asked, a brow lifting questioningly. She had said a lot of things.

"Maybe life should be about more than just surviving. And you’re right. We do deserve better."

That time she couldn't quite keep the surprise out of her expression. Clarke assumed her objections to the Commander's harsher outlook on reality had all been brushed aside. She never imagined she'd ever have an impact. Certainly not one that would have Lexa come calling when neither of them were ‘on the clock’, so to speak.

"W-.. well, I just thought--.."

"I know," Lexa cut in, but the soft curve of her lips and the rare light in her eyes told Clarke she meant it to reassure her, not reprimand. "You know what my people say when our warriors fall in battle.."

She paused, allowing Clarke to whisper the words she had never forgotten after she had learned them from Anya. " _Yu gonplei ste odon._ Your fight is over.."

"Mm," Lexa breathed with a nod. "We are taught that that is what life is for us. A fight. From the moment we are born to the moment we draw our last breaths. And you, Clarke of the Sky People, reminded me that some of us should not accept that teaching in such a literal sense.."

"What do you mean..?"

The Commander was standing just in front of her then, close enough that Clarke was enveloped by the girl's unique scent. She was freshly bathed, her skin bright and clean and her hair soft and smelling of the natural fragrances Clarke knew the Grounders used. It mingled pleasantly with the aromatic oils she had likely dabbed on afterward.

 _At the pulse points, I bet.._ Clarke thought, a most peculiar feeling coming over her then. Her eyes darted away, pointedly looking at the ground rather than at the pale curve of Lexa's throat, trying to think of anything else. It was an exercise in futility as she felt a warmth close around her chilled hands and realized Lexa had taken them in her own.

"Come with me? There is something I would like to show you.."

Clarke nodded dumbly, still waiting for her mind to catch up. She moved almost mechanically as she was led along, finally coming back to herself as they crossed the threshold into the dim beyond the reach of the fire that cast its glow over the water basin. Lexa had released her hands by then, likely when she had collected herself and wiped the slack-jawed expression off of her face. That was going to plague her for awhile, she knew it. Come the morning she would still be cursing herself for being so transparent. Clarke tucked her hands into her jacket pockets and followed, still able to make out Lexa's form even in the darkness.

As she'd thought, most people were already asleep and so they moved through a village that was nearly silent aside from the crackle of the bonfires and the rattle and creak of tents and wooden huts in the breeze. Clarke picked her way carefully over the uneven ground; the driest earth that had remained after the last rainfall had quickly been snatched up as sleeping areas as the small village did its best to accommodate the growing numbers of people living in and around it as the clans gathered. What remained could be treacherous if one wasn't careful, the ground torn up by boots and bodies as Grounders and Sky People trained and sparred in preparation for war.

Clarke could sense eyes upon her as she went, their movements drawing the attention of the sentries standing watch. On her own wandering about she might have garnered some suspicion but any questions were silenced as soon as they saw their Commander, their _Heda_ at her side.

When they reached the arch of the gate Clarke paused, hesitating. "Is it safe?"

She could have been referring to anything -- predators and Mountain Men alike roamed those deep woods -- but it was unintentionally more loaded than that. Her brows knitted together and she bit her lip, feeling an unwelcome pang of guilt. Lexa had come to her alone and vulnerable and she was answering that with paranoia.

_Well, maybe she can afford to feel more confident. Maybe she hasn't been betr--_

Clarke halted her own thoughts. She was wrong. That was unfair. She was keenly aware that the Commander had tasted the bitterness of betrayal only days ago. An apology sat on the tip of her tongue, held only because of the look Lexa was giving her. If she had read that deeply into Clarke's question at all she didn't let on or simply didn't care. The expression she wore was one of sincere amusement.

"Quite. See for yourself.."

Clarke looked beyond the Commander and saw at once what she was referring to. She could appreciate the Grounders' lack of subtlety sometimes. The campfires burning away in the darkness were numerous, dotting the foothills with their brightness all around. It was bold, like a challenge: _We're here. Do something about it._ It was difficult to tell how many actual warm bodies were clustered around each of them but anyone inside the Mountain that happened to take a look could assume there were several Grounders to each one of their own people. And as far as Clarke knew there were still more people filing in each day.

"If Mount Weather has any scouts posted around here they'll be pinned down until morning or they risk walking into an ambush.." Clarke said, less a question and more of an observation. It was doubly effective, both reassuring and removing any excuse she might have offered to avoid leaving. She would simply have to trust her guide. Her gaze returned to Lexa once more and she nodded, following the Commander out beyond the gate.

Her footsteps sounded especially loud to her ears but Clarke blamed that on the silence that stretched between them otherwise. Even if Clarke were more inclined to engage in small talk she wasn't certain what she'd even say. Their relationship -- if one could even call it one -- wasn't like that. To her knowledge, they weren't friends. They were barely even allies judging by how tenuous the partnership of their people felt at times.

"You have a hard time seeing past yourself, don't you, Clarke?" Lexa asked, the sound of her voice startling her a bit as they walked. Clarke waited a moment before answering, curious if perhaps she had taken the question out of context.

"I see past myself all the time," Clarke replied at last, unable to _quite_ mask the bite in her tone. "All the time. You know that. That's why you told me love was weakness, isn't it?"

Lexa paused and looked back, her face a vague outline in the darkness. "I did not intend to imply that you are _selfish._ Forgive me. I only meant that-.." she paused, continuing on as she considered her words. "You distract yourself. You're here walking with me and I can tell you're wrapped up in your own thoughts without even looking at you. I can _feel_ it. You worry about if you make the right decisions or if you have trusted too easily. You worry about how you will do right by your people and how you alone will be able to protect them and shield them.  Am I correct?"

"Is that what you worry about?" Clarke asked, deliberately trying to evade the question.

"I don't think there is a human alive who hasn't experienced something like that at some point, but it is worse for us because we must lead. You can't let them consume you, Clarke.."

"My people depend on me. My friends who are trapped inside Mount Weather-.. and your people inside too, Commander. They'll all die if we fail. How could I not worry? One wrong move and it's all over.."

"Have you ever heard the expression 'can't see the forest for the trees'?"

There was the barest spark of memory, likely something Clarke had run across in some old book. "I think I've seen it somewhere but I never thought about it.."

"It's a very old expression. It means to be so focused on the details that you miss the bigger picture. And as you were so wise to point out.. life should be about more than survival."

"So then-..?" Clarke began, wondering where Lexa was going in more ways than one.

"So then tonight, we're _living_ , Clarke."

 

* * *

 

To Clarke, Lexa was quickly becoming the personification of a headache. She could have dealt with the cold, heartless leader that kept at all times a thick wall between them. That was predictable enough. This was.. anything but  _predictable._ But then again there was a part of her that was relieved that the Commander was more than that person. If there was a warmth and humanity in there than Clarke could actually appeal to that. She could sleep easier (when she actually managed it) if she knew she was allied with someone who could care.

"Come on.." Lexa breathed, reaching for Clarke's hand again without so much as a moment's hesitation. Her fingers closed around a bit of Clarke's sleeve as she still had them tucked in her pockets, but after a tug or two Clarke relented. As before, Lexa's hand was pleasantly warm and her brows furrowed as she did her best not to focus on it too much.

She was led through what seemed to be a thicket. Or what Clarke assumed a thicket could look like; that was an old word she recalled from her texts but never before had an accurate mental picture of. Their linked hands ensured they weren't separated as Lexa expertly navigated the path of least resistance through the bush and brambles.

By the end, however, their fingers had laced together and their joined hands were held between them as they stood side-by-side when they emerged from the brush into a clearing. Clarke could see across it to the trees on the other side but what stretched before them was like a sea of long grass waving gently in the light breeze. Here the pale sliver of moon above them could spill it's light uninterrupted by a dense canopy of trees and the entire little meadow seemed to glow. Some of the light seemed to be moving independent of the grass and Clarke realized after a moment that they were some form of nocturnal insect, glowing a bio-luminescent blue like so many other things she'd encountered.

"It's beautiful.." Clarke said quietly, finding it difficult to speak much louder just then. It felt as if the place deserved a quiet whisper.

"When we first landed I used to reprimand the others for wasting time sightseeing," Clarke continued, the words coming forth with surprising ease. "We had a job to do. We needed food. Water. We had weapons to make and a wall to build. Bellamy-.."

Lexa raised a brow and looked aside at her, saying nothing as she allowed Clarke to go on.

"Bellamy was different then and I had to keep a close eye on him. He was a troublemaker. But that's not who he his.." She shook her head and swallowed the feeling of bile rising in her gut. Finn had made his own bed and had to lie in it no matter how she felt about him, but if Bellamy had been given a death sentence going into that Mountain that was something that rested on her directly. "My point is there was always something and I never had a chance to notice. Not really."

Clarke felt a gentle squeeze before Lexa released her hand -- she'd nearly forgotten they were still linked -- and watched the Commander begin to walk through the grass, her arms stretched down and her palms and fingers running along whatever she touched.

"But you're noticing it now. Relax for a few hours?" Lexa looked back over her shoulder and Clarke sucked a breath in quietly. She really needed to stop reading into every look she was given.

"Fine. Yes. We're here now anyway.." As Clarke moved off through the field she couldn't deny that she did feel better after a few minutes. The silence wasn't really silent at all, she noticed, the night air filled with the calls of.. something. Animals. Insects and perhaps even frogs, if she recalled her Earth biology tutorials correctly.

A sound and a quick movement out of the corner of her eye drew her attention, her head snapping around to look at once.

She realized then that Lexa had vanished.

"Commander?" She called, her voice feeling swallowed up in the great amount of space around her. That was still strange after spending her entire life within the confines of a space station. "Lexa..?"

Clarke continued on in the direction she'd seen the flash in, figuring that was her only real clue. There was no way Lexa could have simply disappeared. Not without a sound or a fight. She hadn't gotten far before she felt something grab a hold of her ankle. Gasping, she was spoiling for a fight in an instant, bringing her other foot up to stomp on whatever had her. It was a good thing she'd looked because it was Lexa who had her fingers wrapped around her boot and the most mischievous look on her face. The Commander looked so young in that moment that it surprised her; Clarke found it easy to forget their age until she saw it in others and thought about it.

"Damn it.. that's _really_ not funny.." Clarke said, dropping onto the grass beside her.

"Speak for yourself," Lexa said, rolling over onto her back, stretching contentedly like a cat.

Clarke bit her lower lip a little and glanced away from the stripe of pale skin that Lexa's shirt revealed when she'd lifted her arms above her head. "... I didn't take you for the practical joke type, to be honest."

"There's much you don't know about me, Clarke. I'm certain I'll only continue to surprise you.." She tucked an arm behind her head, comfortable in her bed of lush grass as she stared up at the sky.

Lips pressed into a thin line, Clarke looked around a bit before she laid back herself. She hated that she was constantly playing catch up.

"I'm certain you will surprise me as well. After all, what do we know about the Sky People?"

"Enough for your most of your people not to trust us from day one.." Clarke said, her voice even. _Be nice_ , she thought, simply offering an explanation rather than taking the opportunity to make it a more biting comment.

"The stories have been passed down a long time. Death comes down from the sky. Long ago, the bombs dropped that brought about the great Cataclysm. Then even the rain was poison. Clouds hid the sun for a long time, in the beginning. They say that sometimes even pieces of metal would just fall from nowhere. But the ground is life. The ground is safe. Life springs from it.. food, water, our clothing and shelter. We run the same paths all our lives. It becomes like a part of us. The earth is solid and it is steady, even when it rains and the soil turns to mud. You grow up here and you trust the earth beneath your feet.."

Clarke listened intently, her eager sense of curiosity piqued at once. No one knew the Grounders' historical perspective.

"So imagine one day you look up and something _burning_ is falling from the sky. A massive ship drops into your territory. Then a hundred people come flooding out of it and they're racing to reach the Mountain. Our enemy. And a few days later these people burn down several villages and they capture one of ours and torture him. Three hundred die in the battle. Another kills eighteen innocents in cold blood.." Just as Clarke had done, Lexa's tone held even and simply listed facts.

"We didn't know anyone was alive when we landed. We defended ourselves.. we-.. we made so many mistakes.."

Lexa turned her head and looked at Clarke, her small smile visible in the moonlight. "I know, Clarke. We all have. It's part of being alive. You were fighting for your survival."

"And for the times when life could be more than that. That's all we ever wanted."

"Mm," Lexa agreed. "And as I said, you reminded me that we cannot fight constantly or we will die sad and angry and.. alone."

It was Clarke's turn to look toward Lexa. A feeling like her words held a more significant meaning settled on Clarke. Hope, perhaps? She hadn’t quite experienced that for the longest. But the Commander had turned away, a distant look in her eyes as she stared up at the sky.

"What is it like to live among the stars?" She asked, her tone almost wistful. Clarke was slow to respond, taken aback by the question. The entire situation seemed completely surreal as of yet, like she might blink and it would all be over.

_When did it become something you didn't want to end..?_

Clarke cleared her throat and shifted a little in the grass. "Well.. it's nothing like it is here on the Ground. Maybe years ago things were better but by the time I was born my people were in a constant state of salvage and repair. The stations showed their age. You could hear it. It was never silent.."

She was certain she could sense Lexa's gaze on her again, but she went on.

"Not like it is here. It's not quiet here either but it’s organic. Up there it's just a mechanical sound. It's loud but you get used to it. You _want_ to hear it. There was nothing more terrifying on the Ark than silence.."

"Why?"

"Because.. people can't survive in space. There's no air or gravity or pressure. We had to generate that all artificially. My-.. my father was an engineer. It was his job to oversee those systems. He-.. he used to explain things to me as best he could but I'm better at medicine than I am at wiring.."

Clarke looked toward Lexa and met her gaze, a quiet understanding passing between them. Lexa had experienced loss. She'd volunteered that information as they watched the pyre burning. Lexa was well acquainted with the look as Clarke’s unease choked her up.

"I'm sorry," Lexa offered, her voice quiet.

"It's okay. It's fine.." Clarke said quickly, wanting to move away from the topic of her father before she could press for more about him.  "Um. So we really didn't have night and day up there. In some of the corridors there were viewing platforms that had windows with special glass that kept the sun from being too dangerous and intense. The rest of us just had circadian lights.."

A glance at Lexa told her that the girl had no idea what she was referring to and it brought the smallest curve of a smile to Clarke’s lips. "Circadian lights mean that the lights would brighten or fade in order to mimic the cycle of day and night on the ground. Our bodies have an internal clock that responds to that cycle and so if the lights were always on people would lose track really quickly. You would get disoriented and you'd lose sleep and start having all sorts of other problems. It's better here. I envy you.. you were born here. The way you and your people know the land is remarkable.."

"I suppose everyone wants what they don't have, hm?"

"I just wanted everything to change. I couldn't imagine that we would have the same problems on the Ground. On the Ark everything was so tightly controlled and rationed. Children suffered and went hungry sometimes. People died because they couldn't get enough medicine. Close to the end people were even starting to go blind because they were so oxygen deprived. And then even the smallest crimes were punishable by death if you were over eighteen years old.."

Once again Clarke felt her throat tighten. Should she be revealing so much about their former lifestyle? Wouldn't that only sour Lexa's opinion of the Sky People even more?

"You.. have to understand," she continued quickly. "It wasn't just to be cruel or to instill fear. It just wasn't like it is down here. On the Ark there were some.. two thousand or so people before. The station was ancient. What we could make to renew supplies was limited most of the time. Water rationing was carefully regulated. These were laws that the first people to live on the Ark put in place to protect what we thought was the last of the human race."

"If you thought you were the last than why is it that one hundred of your people were simply dropped here to fend for yourselves?"

"We needed to know if the Earth was survivable again. We'd all committed a crime. If you're younger than eighteen they simply Confine you until your eighteenth birthday. Then they review your case and decide whether you live or die. In our case, we were expendable. Many of us would probably have gotten floated anyway.." A glance out of the corner of her eye confirmed her suspicion; Lexa was curious as to how she ended up among the Confined.

"I was arrested for treason," Clarke began. Her voice was steadier now despite returning to the memories of her father and the smoldering fire of anger she still held for Abby whether or not she admitted it. "My father discovered the fatal flaw in the system. The first person to know the Ark was doomed and soon. He didn't want everyone to die because the Council kept it a secret. He was going to go public with the news so people could make their preparations but before he could send out the message they found out and executed him. I was arrested too because I knew about it. If he couldn't tell them, I was going to.."

"Sometimes ignorance is the kindest thing. What would your people have done if they knew? Panic? Riot? They had nowhere to go. Discretion in certain situations is part of being a leader.."

" _I_ wasn't a leader then. I just wanted to do what was right.."

"And sometimes your beliefs and your intentions, while noble, can do more harm than good.."

"Maybe.." Clarke muttered, feeling herself closing down again. Lexa was apparently aware of it too. The grass rustled as she rolled over.

_Don't look. Don't bother lo-_

Clarke looked and she winced visibly as she immediately wished she hadn't.

Lexa lay on her belly, her chin rested in her hand and her knees bent, feet lazily kicking the air. By the look of her one would think they were two friends having a sleepover and Lexa was settled on Clarke's bed exchanging idle gossip. She looked nothing like the Commander she knew.

"Don't do that. You were just starting to open up," Lexa said, her voice soft and her tone apologetic. Encouraging. "Your father sounds like a good man, Clarke. We may disagree on what should or should not be done but he died for what he believed was right for his people. It is a good death. There is no more noble sacrifice.."

Clarke could feel the pain like someone had her lungs in their fist. She didn't dare breathe just then lest she release it. Jake Griffin's death was still a raw wound and the unexpected kindness moved her in a way she couldn't quite explain. It wasn’t something strangers did with such sincerity. Those on the Ark had all at least _heard_ of her family, even if they hadn’t known them personally. Word spread fast. The Griffins were considered ‘privileged’ and in general not many of _their kind_ found themselves floated. And so the condolences rang empty after awhile. Those were things you said to avoid awkwardness passing people in the corridors.

"Th-.. Thank you. I.. appreciate that, Lexa. I do. No one's ever said anything like that before. We don't-.. death isn't usually good to my people. No one talks about it like that, if they can avoid it.."

"I'm not sure it's good to anyone. But some deaths are worse than others."

Clarke felt warm fingers on her cheek that gently turned her face more fully toward Lexa. Against the smooth skin of her face she was more aware of the roughness of the Commander's fingertips but it wasn't an unpleasant feeling. Not in the slightest. That was perhaps why she found herself leaning into it unconsciously.

"I'm certain he had a warrior's spirit. Just like your mother.." Lexa's lips curved into a smile. "You come from strong and stubborn stock, Clarke of the Sky People.."

"In my experience, those aren't always popular traits around here.."

Lexa laughed, a rich sound that immediately lightened the atmosphere and Clarke felt privileged to have earned it. "Not to some people, yes."

"Like Indra?"

"There are few even among the Trigedakru that can please Indra. Don't take it personal. But you've earned her respect.."

"And what about you?" Clarke didn't dare give too much thought to what compelled her to lift a hand then, settling it atop the one that still lingered against her face. She didn't want to lose her nerve. “Where do you stand?”

"... I respect you too, of course. That’s all." Lexa said, a bit too quiet when compared to how she was earlier. Distracted. Her gaze even drifted to look at their hands.

Clarke's brows lifted and a smirk tugged at the corner of her mouth. She was beginning to find herself again and her confidence came along with it. The fact that Lexa seemed to lack a poker face when it came to her feelings made her want to poke fun at her a little. Clarke’s look just then said _I don_ _’t believe you_ and lit something in Lexa's gaze that almost intimidated her with its intensity. _Wildfire_.

She met Lexa halfway as the other girl descended, smiling against her lips as she drew the softest sigh. Clarke's hand fell away from Lexa's only to thread her fingers through her hair, glad that it was worn free of its usual braiding. She felt teeth graze her lower lip at one point and her breath hitched, sensing a moment later Lexa's own amusement. _So she likes to play the same games.._

Lexa’s lips against hers was every bit as pleasant as Clarke had imagined (in those times when her mind wandered to such things and she allowed it). Soft, warm, and surprisingly patient compared to what she was used to. They could tease each other here and there but for the most part they both simply enjoyed the newness of the situation.

Clarke wasn't certain how much time had passed when they finally parted, both drawing in a much needed breath. Lexa had moved even closer in the meantime but the proximity was no longer unsettling as it had been before.

"Does that answer your question?" Lexa asked, her words soft and breathy. Clarke could only nod, the tip of her tongue running across her lips and savouring the taste that lingered there. She wondered if Lexa had known what would happen when she'd come to her earlier. If that was what she had meant by _living_ Clarke couldn't deny that she felt more alive then than she had in a long while. The last time was long before Mount Weather and Bellamy and Finn. Before they had made landfall and the weight of responsibility had settled on her thin shoulders. Before the pain of believing the best friend she loved had betrayed her.

A few strands of Lexa's hair were still wound around her fingers and she looked at it for a moment as she lay there. Nothing else felt different. The sky hadn't fallen and the ground hadn't split apart because _Clarke Griffin was enjoying herself_. She had grown so accustomed to bearing the pain and guilt of so much that she almost expected some sort of backlash at the very idea. Perhaps it was her willingness to be open that had changed things; not only with Lexa but with her surroundings. Drinking in and appreciating its beauty, for once. Simply being allowed to breathe the sweetness of the air.

"... Clarke?" Lexa asked, quite likely wondering if her silence was the beginning of something she wasn't going to want to hear.

Clarke only smiled and grasped the back of Lexa's neck, pulling her down beside her and into another kiss. The thought of how different it was from her first encounter on Earth came to her unbidden but if anything it granted her more peace. This was _right_. It was everything she secretly craved. She hadn’t been chosen because she was available and passably cute, as she had once put it. There had always been a spark between her and Lexa, even when they were still on opposing sides, something she couldn’t ignore anymore. Not now. Now there was no feverish clawing loose of clothes in a desperate rush to feel _something_ , as if her skin against someone else's was the only thing that would prevent her from flying apart. There was only the two of them and the tender kisses that never seemed to get old.

They lay together in that field, wrapped up in one another, cradled in the bed of grass beneath them with the stars twinkling above. For awhile they didn't need to be Commander Lexa of the Woods Clan and Clarke Griffin of the Sky People.

For awhile there was no war and no death.

For awhile they could forget how many lives depended on them.

For awhile they felt like everything would be alright.

For awhile they could simply _live_.

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is what happens when a tumblr headcanon sticks with you until you do something about it. Thanks for reading! As my first publicly posted work, I hope you enjoyed (because that's scary lolol). :3


End file.
